A frequent refrain I hear from clients is that they feel pressure to stay and fix issues with workplace culture.  They liken applying for a new career opportunity to fleeing their problems in an attempt to find greener pastures.  Often this desire to stay is justified by an admirable loyalty to the place, the work, and their colleagues. 

Occasionally, they’ve been told an insidious falsehood that leaving symbolizes, “running away from one’s problems.”  In either case, leaving tends to be the better option, both for the individual and for the long-term improvement of workplace culture.  Here’s why.

Why is leaving a better option? 

Leaving will likely usher in faster change for the workplace culture. The more people vote with their feet, the more incentive the employer has to address underlying issues that drive talent away. While there are individual circumstances that warrant staying and trying to address these kinds of issues from within, when deeply rooted leadership toxicity is the source, attempting to address the problem can put a person in a position for potential retaliation. That’s good for neither the employer nor the employee.

Changing jobs more frequently is correlated with higher income over the course of one’s lifetime. Studies have shown that the best way to maximize your earning potential over your lifetime is to change jobs every two years. Wasting time helping an employer address problems in the workplace will likely put you at an economic disadvantage in the long-term.

Finding a new position will allow you to focus on building skills that are important for your professional development, instead of wasting precious time and emotional energy attempting to fix managerial shortcomings, you will have more time and motivation to develop the skills that are important to you as a professional.

Workplace toxicity and high achieving women

Despite these realities, I’ve frequently been told by clients and other professional women that if they do not stay and address issues of workplace toxicity, they will encounter those problems wherever they go. 

This advice can actually be harmful.  It makes women, especially women like my clients who are already very self-reflective, feel that the fault for the toxicity lies within them, that there was a behavior they have control over that brought the abusive behavior to the surface, and that if they do not learn to change their own behavior, they are doomed to experience this over and over again in their careers.

This is a fallacy.  

A helpful frame is to analogize your work relationships with a romantic partnership.  Imagine you have a friend who just is not at her best when she’s around her partner.  With no ill-intent from either party, the pair simply do not bring out the best in one another. 

Your friend has two choices.  She could spend years in couple’s therapy, learning to work together with this person with whom she is clearly incompatible.  Or, your friend could end the relationship, and the two of them can seek out relationships with people who are far better suited to them. 

They can then turn the mental and emotional energy they would have spent on learning and employing therapy techniques to focusing on self-growth that’s most important to them — or simply shift their energy to just enjoying life.  

Careers are similar.  If you want to get the most out of your job, you should seek out a position that helps bring the best out of you.  If you want to have a healthy life partnership, you should seek out a romantic partner with whom you feel you are your best self.  Doing so will help you lead a healthier, happier, and more lucrative life.