Recently, I’ve had several clients looking for jobs while pregnant.  In America, it’s a uniquely stressful experience –not because of a fear of discrimination, which is itself omnipresent—but because even if basic compensation details are present in a job description, the details of parental leave never are.  Pregnant job seekers rightly fear that asking about the parental leave policy while interviewing may incentivize the employer to choose another candidate.  Only 19% of employees in the US have access to any kind of paid family leave.  So for many pregnant people, they may choose to stay in a role that is less than ideal, simply because there is some kind of paid leave benefit.  In recent days, the pull to stay somewhere with some benefits has only been exacerbated for workers, like myself, who live in states with a “trigger laws,” which automatically banned abortions the moment the Supreme Court ruling in Dobbs was released.  The fears are real.  But there are ways to navigate these challenges and ensure you maximize the paid leave you receive.

I navigated this myself when I was pregnant with my now three-and-a-half-year-old daughter.  I was working for a university at the time that boasted about its progressive compensation package.  Indeed both their benefits and salary were significantly better than the overwhelming majority of employers in the state.  However, the benefits were abysmal when compared with similarly situated employers in other states, and of course, when compared internationally.  In the preceding year or so before I became pregnant, the university began to offer paid parental leave to all of its employees—four weeks fully paid.  When I became pregnant and learned that the position I held, which was already undercompensated by about $20,000 annually compared to other similarly ranked universities, only came with four weeks of paid leave, I knew I had to start looking for a better solution.  I didn’t know what I would do with a four-week-old newborn if I had to go back to work—to say nothing of the fact that four weeks is not enough time to recover from childbirth.  Federal law requires employers to allow you to take 12 weeks off following the birth of a child, but there is no requirement that any of that be paid.  So I had three choices:

1)     Put my 4-week-old newborn in daycare, go back to work while still healing from birth, and stay financially solvent;

2)     Take additional unpaid time off to stay with my baby and heal, but potentially not have enough money to make our mortgage; or

3)     Find another job.

I started networking and searching for a new position.  I loved my job and I loved my students.  But I didn’t love being underpaid.  Before pregnancy, the lower salary was something I was willing to tolerate—but not if it was going to affect my physical health or impact bonding with my child.  I felt a bit like a ticking time bomb—very much hoping to find a position with better pay and better benefits before I became so visibly pregnant that it would be apparent on interviews that I would soon need some time off of work.

At six months pregnant, I landed a dream job offer at a prominent think tank.  The new employer increased my salary and offered a more generous leave policy in their compensation package–ten paid weeks.  Unfortunately, a newly hired employee would have to be there at least six months to qualify, and at three months pregnant, their policy dictated that they didn’t have to provide any paid leave, whatsoever.  At the time, the new employer had a true parental advocate leading their HR department.  She argued for them to give me 5 weeks, helped set me up with their short-term disability leave, which would give me an additional 4 weeks at 75% of my salary (an amount higher than my prior position), and they advanced me sick and vacation time I had not yet accrued so I could be paid for the entire 12 weeks.  

It certainly wasn’t a perfect solution, but it was far better than where I was coming from.  And in the ensuing years, helping pregnant clients land new positions, I’ve learned a lot.  Recently a client was able to negotiate a change, not just for herself, but for an entire company’s leave policy before she formally accepted an offer.  It goes to show that even if you know an employer’s policy up front, it’s worth applying and going through the process because you may still be able to get what you need AND improve the lives of other women in the process.  I work with clients to do this gracefully and successfully.  Each specific negotiation situation is unique, but the following can serve as a general guide to triaging the process.

1)     Step 1: Do not disclose your pregnancy status while interviewing or applying.  It not only may open you up to discrimination (unintentional as well as intentional).  It puts prospective employers in an uncomfortable position where they may fear being accused of discrimination, even if their reasons from selecting another candidate are wholly unrelated to your pregnancy.

2)     Step 2: When you get a job offer, first negotiate salary and any other important details of compensation and working conditions before you disclose your pregnancy status.  The same reasoning applies as in step one.  You should ask (and this is a good idea whether you are pregnant or not) for two things: first, a copy of their benefits description, and second, whether they might be able to connect you with some of your future colleagues.  With an offer in hand, you can ask more direct questions of your future colleagues than you could on a formal job interview.  You should ask about their experiences and you can also ask about their thoughts on the benefits package—health insurance, vacation, parental leave, sick time. 

3)     Step 3: Once you have negotiated all of the pieces, you should accept and disclose that you are expecting and let them know your anticipated due date.  Any employer worth working for will congratulate you and work to make sure you are onboarded and settled before you reach full-term and also help you figure out coverage for your leave.

Navigating parental leave in the US is a particularly fraught process.  It helps to have an advocate and expert on your side—someone who has a) been through it themselves and b) is an expert in both compensation structures and the job market.  Reach out to me if you need help navigating the negotiations process or with any questions about your job search process.